Wednesday, April 11, 2012
November 2007: My Last First Date Was So Worth the Wait
Lots of things tempted me to believe I had found my Mr. Wonderful on our first date. His dreamy brown eyes and wavy brown hair epitomized the look I found most attractive. His dry wit and sharp intellect made him both entertaining and sexy. And his good Midwestern manners seemed more refined and alluring than those of guys I had dated in the past.
The thing that really almost sent me over the edge, however, was when our server was walking us to our table and asked, "First date?"
Mr. W said, without missing a beat, "No, we've been married five years."
Part of me wanted to stop right then and there and ask Dr.-Seuss-style, "Are YOU my husband?" but I knew I had to resist thinking this was THE guy until I knew him better (even though we'd been getting to know each other for five whole weeks already.)
There are really no downsides to going slow in relationships.
Accurately assessing a situation before jumping into it with both feet can save so much heartache in the long run, and after all the heartache I'd had that year, I was definitely down with taking the cautious route.
Mr. W and I had a great first date. I even adhered to my no-kiss rule and left him wanting more. We went out the following week and then twice the week after that, learning new things about each other during every encounter.
When I was with Mr. Redflags, he dropped the L-bomb on me after about six weeks. This was scary but fit perfectly with the dramatic nature of the relationship. I told Mr. W I loved him after six months and he didn't say it back for several weeks after that.
I tease him about it now, but also appreciate how seriously he took those words. For him, love was not something to be handled lightly.
The restrained pace of our relationship is one of the things I believe made it so strong.
Not to say I wasn't totally antsy for Mr. W to want to spend his life with me after I realized he was the man of my dreams. I may have dropped a few hints (and some tears) between the time I knew we were headed in a forever direction and the time he actually proposed.
But it all worked out and on March 19, 2011—three and a half years after our first date—we were married.
And it was the best day.