|"What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down."|
- George Bailey, It's a Wonderful Life
We all fall into this trap from time to time, knowing on one level that we should be getting more from our relationships, our selves, our paychecks—but maybe not quite feeling totally worthy of sticking to our guns to make it happen.
And so we make excuses and allowances.
When I was dating Mr. Redflags, I knew I deserved so much more, yet I told myself things like, "You're just being high maintenance," or "You have a strong personality, so no relationship will ever be easy." Lies. The truth was that I was compromising my own value because I was afraid of having another failed relationship at 31.
Fear of failing, and taking what you can get, will never lead you to what you really deserve.
Although I can't take credit for the demise of that relationship, I can take credit for the mindset I maintained after it. I vowed to hold out for a love that I knew I deserved. I was committed to seeing my worthiness and keeping my standards high. And with that perspective top of mind, I went off into the world and tried to do as much fun stuff as I could (key to a happy life: go do fun stuff).
What happened came as a bit of a surprise to me then, but makes perfect sense to me now. I got what I knew I deserved. I found my Mr. Wonderful and began a pretty darn blissful life with him that led to marriage and a one-acre plot in Santa Barbara wine country.
You get to the good stuff when you decide you're worthy of it.
When you truly see, feel, and believe how wonderful you are, not only are you better able to filter the less-than-excellent stuff and people, you attract more of the stuff and people you want—whether that comes in the form of a better working situation, more fulfilling relationships, more respect from family members, quality downtime, or all of the above.
Belief in yourself and your worth is at the heart of getting everything you want in this life.
So how do you get to this place of belief? Start by watching the way you think and speak. Treat yourself the way you would someone you love. Take yourself on dates. Trade criticisms for compliments. Get really clear and actively build the case for your worthiness. And if you need a little push to make you remember how amazing you are, check out Wonderful U.
It's never too late to set new parameters around what you deserve. Why not try it and see what shows up in your life as a result?