Tuesday, July 21, 2015

There Is No "Right" Order. Your Path Is Your Path.

Having your ducks in a row doesn't necessarily mean they have to be in a particular sequence.
I was talking with a friend recently and she confessed to struggling with some exciting news because it was taking place "in the wrong order." I asked her what the "right order" was and she rattled off a series of life events that society loves to teach us we're supposed to follow. (Education! Dating! Job! Perfect Relationship! Marriage! House! Baby! Promotion! Travel! Retirement! Grandkids! Golf.)

The reality of the "perfect" series it that sometimes, it's just not realistic.

Life lessons happen. Breakups and makeups happen. People get divorced and remarried. Unexpected pregnancies pop up—sometimes before marriage or any sort of real commitment. We leave and go back to jobs. Sometimes on our hands and knees. Some of us don't find our dream careers until we're 70. 

We're all on different rides.

Some people's life events take place in one particular order, others' skip and repeat certain steps. Neither is right or wrong.

There are no rules. There is no "right."

There's only the answer to this question: Are you happy?

If you're genuinely happy, it doesn't matter what order things fall into place. It doesn't matter if you have to take a re-do on a relationship or a job or an attempt at discovering the cure for unwanted facial hair.

Being happy is THE thing.

The stories we tell ourselves about what order things need to occur are just limiting beliefs. The kind of beliefs that can rob us of our happiness, when we're ripe to be feeling it.

Besides that—if our life timelines unfolded in a different order or how we thought they were supposed to, we might not even get to the opportunities we have today to be happy. We might be on very different paths, tethered by some life event doctrines that are just a bunch of hooey.

Forget the order. Do what makes you happy and don't beat yourself up when you have to take a do-over.

It's your ride, my friend. 

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