Wednesday, February 12, 2014

20 Ways to Show Yourself Some Love

Love is in the air this week. Or at least that's what Hallmark would like us to believe. 

But I'd like to invite you to shift the focus away from the lacy, red underwear you may have purchased to wear for someone special, or the paper hearts you've promised to help your child cut and paste to make Valentine's for his or her class. I'd like you to stop and think about yourself.

How are you showing yourself love these days?

Amidst the hustle of everyday life and the stories a lot of us have on repeat in our heads (I don't have time, everyone else's needs have to come before mine, my thighs are too fat to deserve love) we lose sight of the first place love needs to start: inside ourselves.

We can't really love each other if we're not loving ourselves. 

So here's a little primer to get your love pump flowing again. It's based on a question I encountered when doing some Tony Robbins work back in the day. Tony told me to ask myself, "If I really wanted to prove to myself that I loved ME, what would I do?" It was fascinating to explore the answers. I encourage you to come up with your own answers, but here are a few I think might also work for you...

1. Replace self-criticism with self-kindness (I'm talking to you, thigh comments).
2. Buy yourself flowers. Even the cheapest bouquet at Trader Joe's feels good.
3. Wrap up in a cozy blanket or wear really soft socks or slippers.
4. Spritz your pillow with lavender spray at night to help lull you to sleep.
5. Take yourself on a date. Go see a movie, read a book at a coffee shop, visit your favorite museum, drive to a pretty spot and look at the view—whatever makes you feel loved.
6. Stand up for yourself (including TO yourself if it's you who's doing the mistreating).
7. Accept love from others without feeling like you have to go overboard to return it. Just enjoy it.
8. Treat yourself to something silly like a Hello Kitty pencil or clown ice cream sundae or a balloon animal at the farmer's market.
9. Buy a head massager. Trust me. It's life changing.
10. Do that thing that makes you feel sexy (not THAT thing...but go ahead and do that too)—wear your favorite lipstick, blow out your hair, put on heels. Allow yourself to bask in the confidence boost.
11. Congratulate yourself on a job well done. Write yourself a note about it and heap on the praise.
12. Push yourself a little—stay on the treadmill for a minute longer, speak up even if you're feeling nervous, try the recipe that seems too complicated—and then reward yourself for going further than you planned.
13. Quit comparing yourself to other people's social media feeds. No one is as perfect as their profile appears. So stop it. Go outside and do something fun.
14. Massage really yummy lotion into your hands and feet.
15. Make that doctor's or dentist's appointment. Caring for your body is a huge piece of self love.
16. Take a bubble bath or a hot shower with some nice bath gel. It may sound cliché, but it really does do the trick.
17. Allow yourself to sit in silence, with no demanding bosses, hungry kids, or stressed friends in sight. Just sit and let your body relax and breathe.
18. Say hi to yourself in the mirror. Love starts with acknowledgement.
19. Ask for what you want and need. Use your voice.
20. Let yourself daydream. No rules, no restrictions. Fantasize about Clooney or the convertible or whatever it is that floats your boat and enjoy the deliciousness of what your mind creates. You never know—it could come true. 

Wishing you lots of love this Heart Day. And hoping most of that love comes from within yourself.


  1. These tips are perfect, Melissa! I'll be spritzing my pillow with lavender spray tonight!

  2. I LOVE the lavender spray. It's such a treat and I swear it helps me sleep better.